


The Third Ring

by Lilith888



Series: The Chronicles of broken spells and loves [1]
Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magic, Sex Magic, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 21,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26628391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilith888/pseuds/Lilith888
Summary: After Chain of Gold, Magnus finds himself really interested in what is going on in the London Institute. He should let go, but instead decides to take a vacation with all the young troubled shadowhunters.
Relationships: Alastair Carstairs & Thomas Lightwood, Alastair Carstairs/Thomas Lightwood, Cordelia Carstairs/Matthew Fairchild, Cordelia Carstairs/Matthew Fairchild/James Herondale, Magnus Bane & Matthew Fairchild, Magnus Bane/Matthew Fairchild, Matthew Fairchild & James Herondale, Matthew Fairchild/James Herondale
Series: The Chronicles of broken spells and loves [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065452
Comments: 16
Kudos: 122





	1. Screaming or Killing?

Magnus was confused, and not in a good way, not like when you’re drunk and the dizziness takes you in a world of blurred colours and muttered words. No, there was something wrong in what had just happened. It didn’t matter that the situation was absolutely hilarious: he couldn’t believe that anyone actually bought Cordelia’s story. But of course, they couldn’t believe either that she would ruin herself just to protect the Herondale boy. So now all the Shadowhunters were loudly chatting while Will, Tessa and Sona were running after their sons. He could predict how the couple would react, they had done some ‘mistakes’ too when they were younger, but he was afraid that Cordelia’s mother would be a very different story. So, he followed Lucie, Matthew, Thomas, Christopher and Alastair that were slowly approaching the door were their friends and families have disappeared behind.

“So, screaming or killing?” Lucie almost screamed hearing the warlock’s voice so close.

“Can’t say” answered an impassive Christopher.

“I’m going in” Alastair opened the door so everyone almost dropped in the room while Cordelia was showing something shining on her finger.

No screaming, no killing, just getting married. And that was when Magnus passed from being confused to worried. All the reactions from the group of friends were wrong, except maybe Lucie's who screamed in ecstasy running to her best friend and brother. All the boys instead were frozen, Matthew almost seemed in pain, and the warlock stood there on the door, with four young men mute and definitely not happy. And he decided to do something about it.


	2. Just a little fun

“A vacation?” Will asked confused “Why should they need a vacation? There is a marriage to organise”. 

“But they just fought one of the most terrible demon that exists, travelled to a demonic kingdom, faced a Prince of hell and they all almost died” Magnus was just curious to found out was going on. It had been a very boring decade, Camille was not in the picture and he was only curious, not worried: that’s what he kept telling himself. 

Tessa was looking at the warlock like she could see trough him and then looked at Jem. They were communicating, even if he couldn’t hear them, he knew. She was nervous but she didn’t want to worry Will, so she was counting on the other man of her life. He saw her nodding and knew that he just won a band of young troubled men and women. 

“Magnus is right. They need to find a little bit of normality before going on and starts being adults. We can convince the others; they all trust you” Will looked at his wife but didn’t argue. 

“If it’s ok for you” and shrugged his shoulders. 

_“I thought you wouldn’t want to deal with_ _Shadowhunters_ _for a long time”_ Jem spoke to him through his mind _“Something is going_ _on;_ _I trust you to find out what”._

Magnus didn’t want Will to hear so he simply nodded. “I’m going to give the great news” and left the room. Now he had to find the band, so he started going around through the Institute when he heard voices coming from the Sanctuary. He thought about eavesdropping but decided otherwise. When he opened the door, they all stopped talking and moving. 

James and Cordelia were sitting on the fountain. Lucie and Thomas were in front of them clearly upset, Christopher was simply looking at them in disbelief. Alastair seemed angry, standing away from the group, and Matthew was trying to look bored but Magnus thought he knew what was under the facade. 

“Magnus. Why still here?” James tried to sound normal. 

“Well, I was talking to your parents actually” they all froze. There was definitely something big hidden under the carpet. 

“Ok” the warlock could have enjoyed a little more the panic in the room but decided otherwise. 

“I told them you all need a little vacation. After the battle, before the marriage”. 

“What?” this time Cordelia asked. 

“A vacation. I’m leaving tomorrow and I would like a little company. I knew I couldn’t separate you all so...”. 

“And they agree?” “Where?” “Really?” the questions came all together. 

“Yes, and the location is a surprise” he had an idea but he needed to ask a favour first, a huge one “Will and Tessa are convincing all your parents, but after what you did, I doubt any of them would say no”. 

“And what if we don’t want to come?” Matthew was still holding the wall, or holding himself on it. 

“Of course, it’s your decision” the warlock walked near the young man, the beautiful young man and whispered “but I think you need it, and” raising the boy chin with a jewelled finger “I think we could have fun together”. 


	3. Promise?

Everything was ready. He had already opened the portal to bring them to the designated location. He only had a few personal things with him because he knew that they were going to find everything they need. Their host was an excellent one. But he hadn’t wanted to explain anything to his guests so when they arrived it was with a lot of baggage. Well, not all of them, but Cordelia, Lucie, Matthew and Christopher had a lot of suitcases. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”. 

“Well” answered Lucie “I don’t know, that’s exactly the point”. 

“Kit, I would expect this from Matthew... but from you” James was pointing at a gigantic truck, near a small bag. 

“That’s work!” they all looked at him like he had grown a couple of horns “Who knows... maybe we have time”. 

In all that Cordelia was still in a corner chatting quietly with his brother. Magnus got close “Everything ok?”. 

Alastair winced “Yes”. 

“No” replied Cordelia “I am going, and you are coming to”. 

“You shouldn’t go on a vacation with your _‘fiancé’_ before the wedding” the warlock didn’t miss the sarcasm in the word “and they don’t want me. So”. 

“Stop saying that. I don’t know what happened because you didn’t tell me. So, I’m going and if you want to ‘protect’ me you are welcome”. 

“I don’t have my bag” probably that was the last thing he thought to say, the last excuse. 

“You won’t need one. Trust me” and winked at him. Alastair neck became red, for anger and maybe a little embarrassment. 

“Then it’s decided” Cordelia took his brother by the sleeve and approached her friends. 

“Ready?” Magnus flew all the trunks trough the portal with a flick of his hand and then gestured the company to follow their belongings. Lucie was the first, followed by her brother, Cordelia and Alastair. Christopher and Thomas were right behind them. Only Matthew stood in the Sanctuary, looking were his friends have disappeared. 

“Maybe I should stay”. 

“Whatever is going on, on that side of the portal there is the answer, even if it’s not the one you hope or want” the young man looked at the warlock letting a little of his pain be visible in the impossible green of his eyes “and if that’s the case, I can assure you that the place we are going to is full of distractions and good alcohol. And of course, me”. 

Matthew didn’t flinch, or reddened. He was pounding all the possible scenarios. He got close, never breaking eye contact “Promise?”. 

“Promise”. 

And they went through.


	4. A bubble between the worlds

Matthew almost crushed against Thomas’ back “Hey, you shouldn’t stand in front of an open portal!”. 

They were all frozen looking around in the room they have arrived, except Cordelia who approached him quickly “I was afraid you wouldn’t come” she looked like she wanted to hug him but stopped herself and only put a hand on his sleeve, smiling and looking at him. 

The man looked at her like she was a dangerous animal, staying still and rigid under her touch. 

“What is this place?” Lucie was almost screaming in delight, moving around the room almost dancing. 

“It’s even bigger than the institute ballroom. And it’s only the entrance” James wasn’t as excited as his sister, but still quite impressed. 

“Welcome to the Villa” Magnus exclaimed. 

“And where is this ‘Villa’ exactly?”. 

“Well, it’s a little complicated to explain...”. 

Now they were all looking at him with a frown “Try us” there was a not very subtle treat in Alastair’s voice. 

“Basically, this is another dimension”. 

“Like a DEMONIC dimension?” Cordelia was almost screaming, and who could have blamed the girl after her recent experience. 

“Not exactly. This dimension links ours with a demonic one. It belongs to a very powerful sorceress, a friend of mine. And there is nothing evil in this place” they looked not convinced at all “Look, this is a place of peace, a bubble between the worlds. Its magic is powerful enough that I couldn’t open the portal myself, she had to help me. Nothing can enter here unless it’s invited to”. 

“And who is she?” James looked very wary. And, knowing who is grandfather was, Magnus was rather impressed about how calm he looked. 

“You will meet her, but she is basically my cousin. So, yours too I guess” they looked all too worried and he needed to make them relax to find out what was going on “You know I have been friend with all your parents for a long time” said talking to James “and we know each other very well. You know as well as them that I would never put any of you in danger. Well, not real danger, maybe a little too much fun. Just stop worrying and relax. She will come back in a couple of days and you will meet her, and love her. I can assure you”. 

“And tell me” James answered after a few seconds of thinking “where are our rooms in this gigantic house?”.


	5. Actually, no

If James was convinced than all the crew was, except maybe Alastair. He was the only one not to trust him with his life, or his sister life, or anything at all. 

The dynamics between all of them were very singular, even more than the ones between Will, Tessa and James. Magnus found it very amusing. 

In the moment James had asked about the rooms a fire message had appeared “Thomas, Christopher, Lucie and Alastair first floor. The others with me on the second. Choose the room you like”. 

“NO WAY” Alastair was almost screaming. 

“What’s the problem now?” Lucie asked annoyed. 

“My sister is not sleeping anywhere near him” and pointed to James “You have already made too much damage”. 

“Oh, stop it, you know it’s not...” and Cordelia stopped there, looking terrified at Magnus. 

“Don’t worry, that was obviously a lie” now they were all looking at him. 

“You knew? Then why are we here?” James asked. 

“Because you need to relax and have fun. And decide your next moves of course”. 

“So, you know about the marriage blanc” Cordelia seemed embarrassed. 

“Actually, no” and that was when they all started screaming again. 

“Don’t tell our parents!” “No one can know!” “Please, Magnus”. 

“This is insane” screamed Alastair louder than the others “Someone other than me can please tell my sister that it’s a stupid idea that will ruin her life forever! You cannot be in a marriage with someone who doesn’t love you! Not even if it’s a fake!”. 

“Oh Alastair” Cordelia looked at him like he wasn’t talking about her but more about himself. 

“You are a stupid” and he left taking a flight of stairs. 


	6. Simple tastes

After they all settled in their rooms and everybody agreed to come out, Magnus showed them the Villa. Lucie was trying to get an excited reaction from his friends about their bedrooms that were more like small apartments, but everyone was still very nervous. Not a great start for a vacation. 

The warlock brought them from the living room, to the ballroom, then there was a room for the music and one with only an enormous bar and a few armchairs in it. Magnus shot a glance to Matthew who seemed very interested. And then he showed them the kitchens and the small dining room that they were going to use. 

But he had left the best for last. He paused a moment in front of the biggest door he had ever seen, all carved wood and iron, and he opened it. On the other side, enlightened by a tall window that occupied almost the entire west wall of the Villa, there was a wonderful library. Four floors of stairs gave access to galleries were armchairs and tables stood under the thousands of books and shelves. 

James almost fainted. Matthew was holding him because the young man was walking around without looking where he was going. Lucie had already approached a shelf to read the titles on it. 

“This is... insane” Alastair was full of wonder, but he seemed also annoyed. 

“This is perfect” James replied angry. 

“How can you possibly find a book? There are too many” and no one could argue with that. 

“Different gallery, different topic” answered Magnus “but also magic. ‘A tale of two cities, first edition’” and the book appeared on the couch near him. He took it and passed it to James. 

“But we don’t have that kind...” 

“Romeo and Juliet” was shouting Lucy and the book appeared on the shelf she was looking at. 

“No need to shout”. 

“Sorry”. 

“But, how?” asked Christopher. 

“It’s not my magic, it’s the magic of this place. It simply runs through everything”. 

And so, they passed the all afternoon reading and finding the weirdest book, or the oldest, until it was time to eat. And in that moment Magnus realised that Matthew was gone. He saw Cordelia looking between the door and James with a little pain in the eyes. He knew where to look and exit the library. 

“Found something you like?”. 

The boy didn’t even flinch “Of course. I have very simple tastes. Want some?” and poured a glass of whiskey for himself. 

“That’s not something ‘simple’, at all” and gestured him to pour another glass. It was a very expensive bottle of a very strong whiskey. 

“So, you weren’t lying about the alcohol” and looked at the warlock with those green eyes. He was flirting, definitely “What about the distractions?”. 

Magnus wasn’t there to seduce a very handsome Shadowhunter. But, looking at Matthew, that seemed to be a very enjoyable bad idea. “Why do you need distractions?”. 

“I’m not here to talk, Magnus”. 

“Cordelia is free” and it looked like he had stabbed the boy. 

“You don’t know what you are talking about”. 

“Maybe not, but she is”. 

“She loves him”. 

“And he doesn’t love her” saying it out loud, Magnus realised he wasn’t so sure about that. He had seen the two dancing and had been pretty sure about James’ feelings for the girl, until he had heard about the marriage blanc. Why propose something like that if you love the woman who just saved you? 

“He thinks he is in love with Grace”. 

Something still didn’t convince Magnus and was about to ask other questions when they heard the voices of the others approaching. 

Matthew recomposed himself, but only after emptying his glass. 


	7. I knew it was too easy

Over the years Magnus had learned to be a very good cook. Magic helped of course, but he loved cooking for people he liked, like that weird group of young  Shadowhunters . But he would have never said that out loud.  So, he cooked and complained, and enjoyed every minute of it.

After dinner they all set in the room with the bar. Magnus made cocktails, very light ones. Only Matthew served himself, standing next to the warlock and accidentally touching his arms and back. Magnus wasn’t sure if the boy was trying not to be seen by the others or the exact opposite. The only thing certain was that he was doing everything not to be close to his  Parabatai and his fiancé. He wasn’t even looking at them, sitting on the ground over some cushions, while Cordelia was translating a book from Persian for James.

Magnus was pretty sure that the two of them looked in love, so he understood the pain in Matthew. But everything else made absolutely no sense. Lucie looked at them like she was ready to write a love poem. Alastair seemed very angry, while Christopher was simply listening to Thomas who was speaking quietly and insistently looking at Alastair.

“So” he said, pushing Matthew away from the bar and sitting next to him on a chaise longue “who wants to play?”.

“Yes, sure” “What kind of game?” “Not really into games” they had this bad habit of talking all together.

“An alcoholic one?” and raised his glass. They all looked at him in disbelief, some like they were shocked, some like that was the most incredible idea in the world. “It’s just for fun, and we already have our cocktails”.

“What do you have in mind?” always James, always taking the lead.

“Never have I ever?” it was something he used to do with  Ragnor and Catarina back in the days. And apparently it was not well known between young Shadowhunters.

“How does it work?”.

“Well, basically you say something you have never done but that the others probably have. Like ‘Never have I ever used an angelic blade’ and, if you have ever done it, you drink”,

“Ok” they were all nodding.

“But...”

“I knew it was too easy” Cordelia was waiting for that ‘but’ like she knew what was coming.

“ But it’s usually played with personal things”.

“Like?”.

“Never have I ever... kissed anyone in this room” and they all freeze.

“Come on James, it’s not funny if you lie” Matthew let some of his pain come out as cruelty.

But it was Cordelia who drank first, followed by James, who never stopped looking at his Parabatai.

“Now I will make you all drink” said Lucie, trying to sound light “Never have I ever kissed someone” and they all drank, only Christopher waited a little before taking a sip of his drink.

“Who?” was asking James to his friend.

“That’s not the game” Magnus admonished him “Who’s next?”.

“My turn” said Thomas “Never have I never been in a relationship”. Only Magnus drank, shortly followed by James. They were all looking at Cordelia, but no one said anything. It was a fake engagement after all, even if they have kissed. And then Alastair drank too, because he needed to, and even if it had been a secret one, his with Charles had been a relationship.

“Never have I ever” Christopher interrupted the staring “been secretly in love”.

“Kit!” Lucie seemed shocked and thrilled at the same time and drank.

“Who?” James screamed at her sister “Who is he?” he seemed on the edge of a breakdown.

“Not the game” giggled the girl “Now you all drink” and they all did. Every one of them, and started looking at each other like they didn’t really know who was standing in front of them.

“This game is going to kill me” said James looking at his drink.

“Never have I never” it was Alastair turn “been with a Downworlder”.

“Been with?” asked Christopher, but Magnus had already taken a sip of his drink. And Matthew too, looking at Alastair in the eyes with challenge. He finished his drink, and after a moment he raised from his seat to refill his glass. Magnus looked at his figure moving graciously even if he had already drunk too much for the day.

James looked at Matthew with intent. Magnus was waiting for his reaction, but the man put on a smile. Then James said “Time to make the girls drink. Never I have ever been in love with a boy” and that was when Magnus knew that they were going to break. Lucie and Cordelia drank. Then Alastair brought the glass to his mouth, followed by Thomas. Magnus finished his drink. And Matthew waited for James’ look to be on him to empty his glass, again, slowly and deliberate. 

So, it wasn’t only Cordelia the problem.

Matthew put the glass back on the counter and left the room.


	8. I need this

The knock on the door was expected. He didn’t know from who, but it didn’t matter.

Magnus opened the door not waiting for an answer and walked to the armchair where Matthew was sitting in the dark.

“So, Cordelia and James”.

“I don’t want to talk about it”.

“But you drank. You could have lied”.

“That was the game”.

Magnus nodded and sat on the armrest, next to the boy “You are all full of surprises”.

Matthew laughed “Not so much”. He had unbuttoned his vest and was passing restlessly his fingers in his blond hair.

“You are not the first or the last one to...”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk at all”.

Magnus lifted his chin with a finger. He was absolutely gorgeous. And totally in pain. Magnus got a little closer, taking the strands of blond hair and freeing them from the boy’s fingers. Matthew kissed him timidly. He had flirted all day with the warlock, but wasn’t sure if that was what he really wanted, or needed. The warlock left him time to decide, to step back or move on. He had been in a very similar position, loving and not being able to do anything but hurting.

“I just... I just need this” Matthew whispered. And Magnus was kissing him, fiercely, slowly and deeply. He still had one hand in Matthew’s hair, the other on his neck to keep him close and arched towards him. And Matthew kissed him back, he was good at it, maybe too good for being so young. The  shadowhunter’s hands were locked on Magnus shirt, but he let one drop on the warlock’s thigh to get up a little and deepen the kiss. And it was in that moment that James entered the room. He didn’t say anything.

Matthew stayed where he was, he just took away his lips from Magnus to look at the door “Do you, mmm” he swallowed and cleared his throat “You need something?”.

“Just wanted to check on you. Maybe talk”.

“I’m a little busy, as you can see”.

James looked at Matthew, and there was everything in that look. Love, hurt, question and acceptance.

“Good night” and closed the door.

Matthew sighed and Magnus got up. The warlock bent just to kiss him lightly “Good night Matthew”.

“You don’t have to go”.

“This was fun, but we better not run. If you want my bedroom door is always open for you” that was a way to let him choose, but it was difficult for Magnus to leave the room “Fuck, you are nothing but gorgeous”.

At that Matthew reddened, even if he had heard compliments all his life, even if he was well aware of how he looked. In that moment he was exposed, and that was something totally different.

Magnus closed the door behind him and went to his bedroom. That night Matthew didn’t show up.


	9. Melodramatic

The next morning the warlock got up very excited. The day before had been a half disaster, but he knew it was necessary to understand what was going on between the band. He had a plan for the day to break some other walls and he couldn’t wait. 

He went down to prepare breakfast and he had just started when Cordelia joined him in the kitchen.

“Good morning Cordelia”.

“Good morning. Can I help you?”.

“Of course!” and passed her eggs and bacon while he was preparing some pancakes.

“Can I ask you something?” she almost whispered.

“Sure”.

“Is Matthew ok?” she never stopped cooking, and never looked at the warlock.

“Not really” he answered.

“Don’t hurt him. Not that you want to, of course you don’t want to. It’s just that he doesn’t let me or anyone help him, I don’t know what to do”.

She really cared for him, if only she wasn’t in love with James. “Don’t worry. I’m just helping him ‘steam’ a little of his anger”.

At those words she reddened, well aware of how he was going to help Matthew, but simply nodded. “Ok”.

And then came the shouting “MAGNUS”. James was in the dining room screaming his name, a tone of urgency in his voice.

The warlock looked at Cordelia, turned off the fire under the pans and exit the kitchen “What now?”.

James was holding a couple of swimsuits looking at them with horror. “What should I do with THESE?”.

“Is he always so melodramatic?”.

“Yes, he is” Matthew had appeared in the dining room, perfectly dressed, his hair perfectly styled, and a grin well placed. Almost convincing.

“These are swimsuits”.

“They are outrageous!”.

“They are the last fashion” and they were. Magnus had thought that a day in the pool behind the Villa was a great idea. He knew, the moment he had decided the plan for the day, the house would provide everything needed.

“They are indecent!” he was screaming. And in that moment Lucy appeared with her white and green striped swimsuit. It was composed of a little dress with no sleeves and a pair of shorts. She looked beautiful and very grown up.

James was having a stroke. He kept looking at his sister and at the boys who had just entered the room. “Stop looking at her like THAT”.

“Oh, stop it James” and she sat down looking perfectly comfortable.

“I’m not wearing this thing”.

“Then don’t” answered Magnus, and went back to the kitchen to grab the breakfast. 

Cordelia followed him “I guess there is something similar waiting for me upstairs”.

“I suppose”.

She was already embarrassed only with the idea of wearing it “ok”.

“Don’t worry, there is one for all of us”.

And in fact, there were three on his bed when he went back to his room.

He chose the red and white striped one, shorts and t-shirt, not so different from the ones that James was showing horrified in the dining room.

He wore the chosen one and went directly to the swimming pool.  Lucie was already there, laying on a deckchair, having the time of her life. Thomas and Christopher were wearing similar black swimsuits, chatting quietly, feet already in the water. Alastair and Cordelia arrived together, him wearing a dark blue bathing suit and her a dark golden one, absolutely perfect for her complexion. James showed up too in the black swimsuit and watched everybody like they have betrayed him, especially  Lucie .

And then came Matthew, and he was wearing a green and white striped pair of shorts. And nothing else. Magnus looked at him amused and astonished. He didn’t know what his game was, but he was enjoining every move of it.

“Nice pick” he told him.

The boy approached him confident “Sorry for last night”.

“What for?”.

“Not showing up” and he sat next to Magnus on a deckchair.

“This is supposed to be funny. If you are not in the mood...”.

“I am” and his eyes were wide and shining telling that he needed this.

“Whenever you want” and passed his fingers on the runes carved in that perfect torso, perfectly aware of the eyes looking at them.

Matthew looked happy with the answer and stood up to enter the swimming pool.

They soon relaxed, even ate sandwiches and lemonade by the pool. The day was beautiful and they were all young, well someone eternally young, and eager to forget all their troubles.

Alastair was the only one left out of the group, but Cordelia was always quick at joining his side when he started looking too lonely. In that moment she was trying to made him laugh with  Lucie’s aid, and it looked like she was almost successful when Thomas approached them.

“Want to go for a walk?”.

Alastair clearly wasn’t expecting that. Cordelia looked worried but she smiled at his brother who nodded and got up. The two separated from the group.

“I can’t believe he still talks to that bastard” Matthew growled next to him.


	10. Friends?

Thomas started walking in the garden of the Villa. It was magnificent but he was too nervous to enjoy the view in that moment. He knew that the others were looking at them and wanted to find somewhere private. He saw a gazebo and walked that way, followed silently by Alastair. When Thomas sat the other boy stood looking at him.

“Want to sit?”.

“What do you want Thomas?”.

“Please sit” he tried to sound calm, but he felt like he was exploding from the inside. Too many thoughts, too many things unsaid, too many secrets. But Alastair sat next to him, looking at his own hands.

They stayed silent for a long moment “If you want to yell at me just get it done, please” there was a rude pain in those words that convinced Thomas.

“I don’t want to yell at you. At all” at those words Alastair looked up at him “I am mad at you. I WAS mad at you. And then I thought about what we did to you at the Academy...”.

“You didn’t do anything”.

“Exactly. I could have stopped them. Or at least tried. What you did was horrible, but I know that you went through hell. So”

“ So. ..?”.

“So, I am asking you to forgive me. I have already forgiven you”.

“Sure” and he stood up. He couldn’t let himself hope too much that they could come back at being friends. He thought painfully at those days in Paris, when Thomas almost whispered.

“Who was he?” asked the man to his back.

“Who was who?”.

“The boy you had a relation with”.

“You forgave me just to find out a little secret to tell your friends?” cruelty underlined every single word.

“Of course not” Thomas stayed calm “We all put some secrets on the table yesterday. Only Christopher knew I am gay before that”.

Alastair turned back to look at the man in front of him. Something different was in him, a calm resolution. Like he had finally accepted who he was and that hit Alastair right in the chest “Charles” he whispered.

Thomas looked surprised “I didn’t know...”.

“Yeah, he is very good at hiding himself. And me”.

“How long?”.

“Too much”.

“Can I ask who knows?”.

“About us? Only Cordelia. About him all his fake fiancés”.

Thomas nodded “I’m sorry. He is an idiot. In general, but in this case in particular”.

Alastair smiled “What about Matthew?”.

“I won’t tell him anything of course”.

“It’s not what I meant. He and James hate me for very good reasons. What are you going to tell them?”.

“Sincerely? It’s none of their business. One is making the biggest mistake of his life for a woman who clearly doesn’t love him. And the other... I don’t know what’s going on with Matthew, but drinking his weight in whiskey and sleeping with Magnus Bane took away every right he might had to tell me what to do. Not that he had any, to begin with”.

“So?”.

“Friends?”.

“Friends”.


	11. Bedtime stories

“No alcoholic games tonight!” Cordelia was immovable. And Magnus ended up agreeing with her. They were all relaxed, well fed and slightly tanned. No need to agitate more the waters. A lot of secrets have already been unveiled and there was going to be time for the others.

“And what do you propose?” the group was mostly sprawled on some big cushions on the ground, except for Alastair, sitting on an armchair, quietly chatting with Thomas and Christopher, the first leaning on the chair. And Matthew. Matthew was lying on the chaise longue, like a satisfied cat, fingers intertwined in Magnus’ hair. It was a bold move, like he had finally found back his true self, but it was also a way to keep himself distracted.

“Truth or dare?”  Lucie suggested.

“I’m not sure that I want to know any more truths about you” James looked terrified.

Magnus sensed Matthew’s fingers stopping in his hair in a sudden stillness.

“Well, Cordelia could tell us a story” said  Lucie “I heard she is very good at it”.

Cordelia became red at looked at her friend with terror “Who told you this?”.

“Anna. Apparently, you managed to distract a whole room of  downworlders with your story. And dance”.

“Seriously?” Alastair shifted quickly from relax to angry “When? Where?”.

“It doesn’t matter” answered Cordelia.

“But she was amazing” interfered James “Without her we wouldn’t have succeeded in the mission”.

“Yeah, the mission” Matthew’s comment was sarcastic and sharp.

Cordelia blushed even more.

“What if” he had to force himself to stop that conversation because he was very curious “What if I told you a story? I promise no dance but it’s a good one”. For a moment he thought he had lost them, all looking angry and embarrassed, or questioning.

“I think it’s a great idea” Christopher only talked when it was necessary.

“Well then. Make yourself comfortable because I’m about to tell you the story of how I saved the Queen of France during the French Revolution!” and so he did.

After a few minutes of that incredible adventure, they all seemed to have forgotten anything else. It was in fact a marvellous story.  Lucie looked like she wanted to write it all down, unable to stop her nervous fingers through all the story. After an hour or so, he had just finished that a lot of questions came at him.

“So, he was her lover?” “Was the count your lover?” “How was she?” “Was she better before or after the transformation?” “How was a party during the revolution?” “And a vampire party?” “A hot-air balloon? That sounds made up to me”.

The story was a very long one, especially because he loved filling it with spicy and juicy details. It was very late and the fingers tracing light patterns on his neck had been very relaxing.

“I think it’s time for me to have my beauty sleep. I will answer all of your questions tomorrow” and he elegantly stood up, looking for the first time since he had started telling his story at Matthew. The boy stretched himself, raising his arms above his head, showing a little portion of skin. It was unintentional, but it was enough for Magnus. He reached out a hand to him “Coming?”.

Matthew looked up, maybe a little surprised, maybe a little scared. He was absolutely irresistible. And Magnus felt a little guilty, until the boy took his hand and nodded. “Yeah, sure” sounding casual and very comfortable. He was really trying to keep his charming façade, and it was obvious how hard that was. The warlock left his hand as soon as he stood up, then walked calmly out of the room, towards the stairs, very aware of the man next to him.

They reached the second floor in silence, when they heard someone running after them.

“James” of course Matthew had recognised his  Parabatai footsteps “need something?”.

“Is there a gym, a place to practice in this house?” he was talking to Magnus.

“Sure, next to the kitchen”.

“Great. Tomorrow morning? 8 o’ clock?”.

Matthew looked a little confused, and maybe hurt that James wasn’t there to stop him “Yeah, I’ll be there”.

James just nodded, then just before going back on his steps “Goodnight”.

“Goodnight James”.


	12. Distractions

Magnus closed the door of his bedroom, giving his back to Matthew. In the moment he turned, the boy’s hard body was pressed against his, hands holding the door, eyes impossibly dark. He was almost panting, and Magnus knew very well that it wasn’t for him, or because of him.

He got a little closer “You are...”

“Please don’t” Matthew interrupted him “Don’t do it, don’t... don’t be sorry for me”.

“I am not” Magnus held him close, his own mouth close to the boy ear “I was saying  that you are one of sexiest creatures I had the pleasure to be with. Well, hope to be with”. 

Matthew let out his breath “I feel like an idiot”.

“For being here with me?”.

He choked a laugh “You know why”.

“For being with me and not letting me take advantage of you?”.

“Advantage?”.

“That’s the plan”.

“I’m not a damsel in distress”.

“Definitely not” they were still so close that Magnus could feel the tension leaving the  shadowhunter .

“I need a drink”.

At that Magnus grabbed one of Matthew’s hand, dropped to reach the door handle “Not tonight”.

For a moment the boy looked like he was about to start a fight, but changed his mind “Then, distraction” and kissed him.

Magnus held him; fingers interlaced with the blond curls, he kissed Matthew following is pace.

He wanted to make him forget everything out of that door, but he was very aware that he wasn’t kissing some fragile boy, totally inexperienced. He was gorgeous, strong, desired by men and women. He was only in love with the wrong persons, and Magnus could relate with that very well.

Matthew started pushing him back, towards the bed. They were just kissing, deeply and with urgency, but their hands were simply holding each other on the waist. No bold move, no caressing, no tender gesture. When Magnus gently collided with the bed, he held himself at the  shadowhunter’s clothes. He interrupted the kiss to look at the man in front of him, and slowly reached the first button of the light blue vest. His jewelled fingers were dancing from button to button, making the tissue fall from the wide shoulders in front of him. Matthew looked quite nervous, but took Magnus’ shirt and untucked it. The warlock was quick with the shirt too, while it took a little longer for the boy to reveal the amber chest. They were only in their trousers and shoes. Magnus saw that a little of Matthew boldness was gone so, he took its time. He placed his open hands on the boy’s torso, and traced the runes carved in it. It was a really barbaric thing, he wasn’t sure Raziel had really meant for them to be burnt on skin. Oh, but that skin. It was otherwise perfect. Incredibly light, punctured by almost invisible ephelides and tensed over defined muscles. 

“So young, so gorgeous” this time Magnus’ words made Matthew redden and tensed “Sit”. The boy sat and took off his shoes, reached for his own belt and then stopped. Magnus sat next to him “Talk to me”.

“I don’t want to talk”.

“But you don’t want to go on either”.

“I do” he looked determined when he raised his eyes “I really do, it’s just” and stopped.

“I know it’s not your first time. What's the problem?”.

“It’s not. But I had sex only with women. With men it was only... foreplay”.

“Foreplay”.

“Fuck. I should have told you”.

“Not really. If you want to just keep kissing, it’s ok”.

“Wait, who said anything about ‘just kissing’!”.

Magnus couldn’t hold a laugh and fall on his back on the mattress “Don’t get offended but I’m losing the track over here”.

Matthew was suddenly on top of him “I simply didn’t go all the way down with any man. But...”.

He finally got the problem, and it wasn’t a problem at all “But touching and...” at Magnus words the boy started nodding “and being naked...”.

“Very naked”.

“That’s okay” the warlock’s hands took the other’s belt.

“Very okay”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter's raiting will be Explicit.   
> If I'll add more "red" chapters I'll probably change the raiting of the all story, but for now I prefer not.  
> The story works perfectly without it, so feel free not to read it.


	13. Devious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's raiting is Explicit.  
> If I'll add more "red" chapters I'll probably change the raiting of the all story, but for now I prefer not.  
> The story works perfectly without "Devious", so feel free not to read it.

Very okay.

It was absolutely more than ok.

Magnus slowly took away the belt from the boy’s trousers, letting it slip and then fall on the ground.

He was still lying on the bed, the shadowhunter sitting on his lap, both still too dressed. He brought his hands on the button and then on the zip but, in that position, it was impossible to take away any more pieces of cloth. So, he passed a thumb in the waistband of Matthew underwear, making a moan slip through the boy’s lips. There was a rune there too. Magnus followed it with his finger but it wasn’t enough.

He quickly switched their positions, one last questioning look for Matthew. He was so gorgeous and eager to move on. So, the warlock took away both the trousers and the underwear taking his time to enjoy the view. He followed the track of every rune going from north to south. The one he was interested in was carved from his hip bone to the inner thigh, small but dark.

The boy underneath him moved like he was trying to hide himself from the hunger look.

“What's wrong?”

“You look… disappointed”.

“Angry and hungry at best”.

“Why angry?”.

“These runes” and he traced the small one “are an atrocity".

“Resistance” the boy whispered.

“What?”.

“That's for resistance”.

The warlock looked at Matthew with surprise. He didn’t expect that, but surely it was appropriate. The boy was getting less excited under that scrutiny, feeling like that wait was driven by doubt. And Magnus couldn’t allow that.

He slowly lowered his face to the abdomen, the perfect abdomen, under him. He inhaled the scent and kissed it. Then lowered himself a little more and kissed the rune and followed it with his nose, up and down, getting every time closer to the increasing arousal of the boy.

And then he sucked the skin right next to the rune, slowly and repeatedly, right on a vein, to leave a mark visible just over were the waistband of the trousers should have been, and one just under that.

Matthew was breathing hard, holding himself from escaping that sweet torture. And then the warlock kissed his penis, licked it, and took it in his mouth. It was something so intimate, so embarrassing and so wrong. He knew he shouldn’t enjoy it so much, but the warm, building pleasure was holding him from stopping Magnus. But he still tried.

“Magnus, stop”.

The warlock sucked him one more time till the base before releasing it “Everything ok?” he was still dangerously close, talking so close, his breath still affecting the boy’s arousal.

“This is... too much”.

“You are actually holding on longer than I thought. It must be this rune...”.

“No, we shouldn’t”.

“What?” Magnus licked him from base to tip, slowly, deliberately lingering at the end.

“This is devious” Matthew finally manage to say, only to regret it immediately.

But Magnus knew exactly what was going on. It was not about him, about being a man, about being a warlock. It had nothing to do with them being together in that bedroom. It was all about Matthew being a Shadowhunter in the 1903, about being told what was good and wrong, appropriate or devious.

Magnus was so aroused by the sight of the boy sprawled under him that he had to force himself to stop. He kissed his way up the shadowhunter’s body, feeling him relaxing when he ended up looking at him in the eyes.

“This is okay” said the warlock stroking Matthew slowly.

“Yes, more than okay” his breath more and more broken.

“And this” Magnus slid down the body under him to kiss one more time the boy’s length “is devious” said standing there and looking up to Matthew.

“Please, come here”.

“I won’t”.

“No one should...”.

“No one has ever done this to you” interrupted Magnus “but I can assure you they missed a wonderful experience”.

“You can’t actually like it”.

“I actually love it, and you will too” Magnus softened his tone “Let me show you” and stopped waiting for the boy’s response.

He was looking at him with those impossible green eyes, arousal and concern fighting in him. But in the end, he nodded. It was all he needed.

He took the boy in his mouth and started sucking it, no games, no torture, simple pleasure building. Matthew was already breathing hard, trying to stay still on the mattress, failing miserably. He was thrusting in the warlock’s mouth, moaning with his eyes closed.

“Magnus I’m close, please” he wanted him to stop, it was simply too much. And then he came, hard, and for a moment it was glorious. But what had happened was wrong. Wasn’t it? He looked at the warlock, who was wiping his mouth with a satisfied look “I’m sorry” Matthew whispered.

Magnus laid down next to Matthew, making the boy look at him “It was perfect, you are perfect. And I can assure you, it was my pleasure as much as yours”.

Matthew couldn’t believe him so he closed his eyes to avoid that look, that intense look over him. When he felt the warlock’s lips on his skin, kissing his neck, and then his torso he sighed with pleasure. “You really liked it?”.

“I never do something that I don’t enjoy doing. Believe me”.

And Matthew did. He pushed Magnus on the bed and kissed him, at first insecure, scared of tasting himself in the other’s mouth, but it wasn’t bad, just strange. He quickly undressed the man under him and watched his body in marvel. The color of the skin, the muscles, the flat abdomen. Every single part of him was perfect. He kissed him again, bringing his hand at the warlock’s penis and stroking it. “Is this okay?”.

“Absolutely. I’m in your hands” and he really enjoyed being there.


	14. Burning skin

The next morning Matthew woke up early. He hadn’t stayed in Magnus’ room to sleep. After an hour or so of fun, recovering and some more fun he had come back to his room for a shower. He had felt his body covered by the warlock’s touch and kisses for all the time he had showered and until he had felt asleep, which only took him a couple of minutes. Even if he had expected Magnus to be an expert, he had been surprised more than once by his ability to make him feel pleasure and forget everything and everyone else.

And now, he was running  toward that everyone, but felt a little lighter at the idea than he had been the previous evening. He was wearing his training clothes and was ready to spar with Jamie. He could do it; it was something safe and simple to do.

When he arrived at the gym, he wasn’t surprised to find everything they needed in it. And was even less surprised to find his  Parabatai already throwing knives at a target on the other side of the room.

James didn’t need any noise to know that Matthew had arrived, something pulled a string inside of him, almost making him lose his balance. He wasn’t eager to turn and see the other’s face, or any marks on his skin. But he had finished his knives so he looked at the door.

“Morning”.

“Morning” Matthew put his weapon’s belt on a table and started stretching. His muscles have been missing the practice and the fighting, especially with his  Parabatai . James was looking at him searching for something, and Matthew thought he knew what. So, he stretched showing is lower abdomen, knowing that there was a hickey there. The other boy looked away immediately.

“Ready?”.

“Weapon?”.

“Angelic blade?”.

Matthew nodded and took one from his belt “ Sansavi ” he called, and the blade took life. James did the same and they put themselves in position.

They started fighting like they used to, in a dance they only knew. But after less than half an hour something changed. James looked almost angry, losing his usual elegance in the fight. It was like his golden eyes were turning into a sand storm. Matthew was afraid that he was going back in the shadow world, but instead of disappearing he jumped towards him with his blade. And kept coming at him.

Matthew managed to stop every attack, but only because his  Parabatai was getting angrier and angrier, losing any precision or tactic. After a few minutes of that nonsense he started to react, and he made James fall, making him lose his balance. “What are you doing?” he yelled at his friend who stood on one knee, breathing hard. He put himself in a defence position when he saw the other reaching for the blade he had lost. But James never reached it.

“I think that’s enough” the blade had flown from the floor in the hand of a woman who was standing in the door frame. Not a woman. Matthew noticed that the blade was burning her skin, but with only one whisper she turned the blade off. Simply like that. “I think I can smell Magnus’ pancakes” she said and turned away, making the hilt fall at her feet.

Matthew looked back at his  Parabatai that now looked confused, but he wasn’t watching at the door. He was staring at his own hands.


	15. I am a monster

James followed Matthew in the dining room. He looked confused and not because of the possible demon that had just took away his angelic blade. Matthew was the only one interested in that appearance. They got in the room still in their fighting clothes, all sweat and dishevelled. Everyone was sitting at the table, eating and chatting, and the woman was in the middle of them, rotating a fork in her hand. The hand that should have been burned by the adamas, but was perfect. 

Magnus arrived from the kitchen; a plate full of pancakes in one hand “You could have had a shower before coming for breakfast".

“Oh, Magnus it's not their fault” the woman was smiling at them “I interrupted their training. They were probably just curious”.

“What are you” Matthew  took out an angelic blade.

“Matthew what are you doing?” Magnus looked confused.

“What did my dear friend tell you?” she asked the  shadowhunter with an amused grin.

“That you are a sorceress. But you are more than that. Am I right?”.

Her eyes turned black for a moment before changing again. Vertical pupils, no eyelids: snake’s eyes. But that could have been her warlock’s sign, like cat's eyes were Magnus'. The black instead meant demon.

“Matthew let me explain. Put that blade out please” Magnus had already some sparkles around the tips of his fingers.

“She is a demon, and this is a fucking demon dimension”.

“This is not, believe me. They look totally different”.

“But she is a demon”.

The woman stood up and walked toward him. James put himself in defence position near his parabatai. All the others stood up too, ready to fight.

“I am not a demon. I was a priestess, damned to walk the earth as a monster by a cruel god. My mother, the Queen of Hell, gave me her blood and trough it, immortality. I am a sorceress, and I am a monster, but I am not a demon. My name is Lamia”.

Silence fell in the room until Lucy spoke “Queen of Hell. You are talking about Lilith”.

Lamia turned at her “Of course, and you. I can feel that you too are my cousin” than turning to Magnus “You haven’t told me that you were going to bring here Belial’s sons”.

At that everything went still. No one was breathing.

“I think it’s time to talk”.


	16. Vessels

James wanted to keep the thing private. Well, at least a little more  private than that. But Lucie had the right to know and Cordelia already knew about Belial. He had meant to tell everything to Matthew, but their relationship was getting weirder and weirder. 

But mostly he was so tired. So, he simply followed Magnus and  Lamia in the library, sit on a couch and told everyone about his trip to the demonic kingdom. Cordelia helped, remembering better than him the demon’s words.

It took him less than fifteen minutes to finish his story.

“You took my sister in a demonic kingdom?” Alastair was the first to talk.

“I actually opened myself a portal with Cortana” Cordelia answered.

“And then you killed him with the sword?” asked Lucy.

“He can’t be killed. He will just lose his form, for a long time let’s hope” Magnus was looking at the shadowhunters with wonder. Every generation was crazier and bravest than the ones before.

“So, it’s over?” asked Thomas. It had been a cruel game the one Belial had played them. Only to take away James. To have his body.

“For  now ” answered Cordelia.

“And you” Matthew turned his attention to  Lamia “You are Lilith’s daughter”.

“Adoptive, but her blood runs in my veins” the woman was looking intensively at Matthew. She was smelling Magnus on his skin, even from that distance. She turned her gazed, a surprised grin on her face, and looked at the warlock with amusement.

Matthew saw the exchange and shifted embarrassed in his sit. But he still asked “What is this place?”.

“This is my sanctuary. No one can enter here unless I want to. Not even Lilith. I built it to be a place of peace and pleasure. To escape the pain and the torment of my past. Magnus helped me when I was lost, so he is always welcome here” she smiled at the warlock with so much affection that Matthew was almost jealous. Not of Magnus, but of the simplicity of that look. She was looking at him in front of others, not caring of anyone but the man in front of her, sharing past memories, good and bad, and unconditional love.

“It is incredible” Cordelia intervened “Especially this room”.

They all agreed. “What about the magic?” asked Christopher “How can things appear when we want or need them?”.

“It’s a dimension made of magic. It’s connected to Lilith and to me. But it was built exploiting the earth power lines, so it will continue to exist after her and even after my death”.

“But you are immortal”.

“And yet I can be killed”.

“Not by adamas” Matthew remarked.

“Not by a scratch” she answered raising his perfect hand in a mocking gesture.

“So, the place is full of magic. But we shouldn’t be able to use it” interrupted Lucy.

“This place is pure magic; it is built to let it flow like water. You are simply vessels in the middle of its current, like the walls, the plants, the books” and she smiled closing her eyes, like she could feel the magic floating around her. “So,” she asked looking back at them “how have you enjoyed yourselves till now?”.


	17. La Belle Dame sans Merci

Magnus loved her. He really did. She was to him a safe haven just like Catarina and Ragnor were. But that question was simply wicked. Only looking at their expressions, not needing any answer, he knew she was getting more about the  shadowhunters than he had done in that couple of days.

The only one who managed to answer was Lucy. She started a list of all their activities, and  Lamia was looking at them all with amusement, noticing every little reddening, every breath being hold, every embarrassed look.

Magnus wanted a minute alone to fill her in, but it was like she was drunk of all that human’s vitality. And he couldn’t blame her. They ended up all around the swimming pool where she conjured cold drinks and little sandwiches. When it got too hot everyone went to change in their swimsuits and Magnus stayed back with the sorceress.

“Nice company you brought here” she mocked him. She used her magic to change in a black swimsuit and used it on Magnus too.

“You like them?”.

“Not as much as YOU like them. You always had a blind spot for  shadowhunters ” she was kindly smiling at him.

“Only for the handsome ones”.

“What about Camille?” that was a painful question.

“She chose power over me”.

“She is a sadistic bitch” she said that with a light tone, like it was nothing.

“What about you? Any knight you have brought on the wrong path?”.

Sha laughed at that. It was an old joke between them. Few knew that she was  _ La Belle Dame  _ _ sans _ _ Merci  _ that Keats have written about in his poem. The one that John William Waterhouse had painted only a few years back. She had been the misfortune of many men during her eternal curse. “Not really, Lilith requested my presence. In Edom”. Magnus shifted in his seat. If she had been in Edom that meant she had seen his father. “He asked about you”.

“He always does”.

“And I always answer that I won’t be his medium. But he will reach you Magnus. You have to be careful, especially after what Belial did”.

“Why were you summoned?”.

“There is a great ferment in Hell. Belphegor is seeking for revenge. Asmodeus and Lilith are getting restless. Your little  shadowhunters managing to exile Belial alarmed them”.

“After so many years of peace”.

“It was just a blink of an eye for them. But they will act, soon”  Lamia was about to tell Magnus about the scene in the gym, curious about James reaction, when the voices of Lucy and Cordelia reached them. The warlock looked at them, so young and so full of life. And then he locked his gaze with Matthew’s, a little sigh escaping his mouth.


	18. Who is it?

Alaric was really upset; Thomas noticed that immediately. The moment Cordelia had spoken about Cortana he had become rigid, his attention shifting from  Lamia to his sister, and then on James and Matthew. His eyes were so full of anger that Thomas felt intimidated. But when the others had suggested to go to the swimming pool, he had cornered Alastair.

“Do you mind staying with me? I’m not really in the mood for the swimming pool”.

“Yeah, me neither. What do you have in mind?” Thomas didn’t have any plan; he was about to suggest the garden when Alastair continued “My room? There is a nice balcony and I have taken a couple of  _ Pain au Chocolat _ at breakfast”.

“Sure” and they started climbing the stairs.

Their bedrooms were close on the first floor, they probably had the same view, but Thomas hadn’t really noticed a balcony in his own. When they entered, he was struck by how different the rooms were. Alastair’s was darker, all blue velvet with golden patterns. There were a couple of armchairs, a lot of books, and a gigantic canopy bed, so tall that there was a wooden step to climb on it.

“Wow, this is different”.

“What is?”.

“The bedroom, it’s completely different from mine”.

“Really? The other’s too?”.

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen any”.

“Oh, I thought at least Christopher’s...”.

“Well, now I will! I’m curious!”.

“How is yours?” asked Alastair, pouring some lemonade in two glasses.

“You can come and see, whenever you want” but the minute he said that, he got all red. He had sounded really too eager to have Alastair in his bedroom “Did you steal the lemonade too?”.

“I think it’s the house. I love lemonade so it’s always here” and took the tray with the glasses and the pastries “Shall we?”.

Thomas followed him on the balcony. It was really beautiful. He looked on the right to see if there was another one where his room should have been, but it wasn’t “I guess my room hasn’t one”.

“Probably because you wouldn’t use it”.

“That makes sense” he sat opposite to the other man and took his glass.

“So, why you are not in the pool with the others?”.

“Sometimes they are just... too much” answered Thomas, really meaning it.

“So, you are not doing this for me?” Alastair sounded casual, but the tension in his body was obvious.

“Since when you are so direct?”.

“Since not being got me stuck in a futureless relationship”.

“That’s why you are so angry with James and Cordelia?”.

“She loves him, I can see that. And she put all her future at stake for an act”.

“He is an idiot”.

Alastair grinned “You don’t have to say that”.

“I need to say that out loud, or I’ll end up making a scene!”.

“You, making a scene?” he was actually laughing at the idea.

“I am very scary when I get angry”.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that”.

“You want to see?”.

At that Alastair turned to face him, really looking at him “No, definitely not. I need this... truce between us”.

Thomas got stunned “It is not a truce”.

“And what is it?”.

“Friendship?” Thomas really wanted that.

“Friendship” Alastair took a sip and seemed doubtful “Can I ask you something then?”.

“Sure”.

“Who is it?”.

“Who?”.

“The guy you kissed. I think asking who you are secretly in love is a little too personal” Thomas reddened and looked away from Alastair, who continued “You don’t have to tell me, of course”.

“No, it’s ok. He was French. We met when I was in Paris, nothing serious”.

“So, he wasn’t the one you fell in love” Thomas just shook his head, unable to talk. “I’ll guess I’ll have to wait to find out, then”.


	19. Whiskey and water

“Matthew, wait!” He didn’t want to wait; he didn’t want to turn and see her. Especially not in her swimsuit, her long red hair floating around her, wet and beautiful. He needed a drink. But a firm hand grabbed him and put a stop at his thoughts “Ehi, where are you going?”.

“To the bar” he answered, still not looking at her.

“Can I come with you?”. He shrugged and let her follow him. When they entered the room, Cordelia noticed a couple of towels laying on an armchair “This house is creepy, it’s like it can hear my thoughts”.

When Matthew turned, she was already wrapped in one of the towels, and with the other she was drying her hair. Thank the angel she has covered herself; she was simply too much in that moment. “Want something?” he asked her.

“Water thanks”.

“Really?”.

“Yeah, not much of a drinker” she answered reddening. She was absolutely perfect.

He poured some water in a tall glass e put a slice of lemon in it. He had noticed that both the Carstairs brother had a thing for the sour fruit, and he had hated himself the moment he had noticed. “Here” he handed the drink to her and  quickly returned behind the bar to put some distance between the two of them.

“Thanks”. He knew Cordelia was watching him, deciding what to say, what to ask, but he wasn’t going to help her. “So,” she began, and he poured himself some whiskey “how is Magnus?”.

“You mean in bed?” the moment he answered he regretted it. She wasn’t there to judge him, maybe to pity him.

“What? NO! Of course not. I mean...” she was trying not to freak out, looking at him in panic, trying to find the right words. Then she started laughing. “I’m sorry, it really came out like I was asking that” and she was laughing even loudly.

“So, you really want to know” he couldn’t really believe it.

“Well, I am curious. But I would never ask you. No, I want to know how he is with you. How are you, if you are happy with him? That’s all I care about” she was looking at him, strongly and with affection.

“I am fine, and he is awesome...”

“But?” she had raised from the armchair, the towels left behind her.

“But nothing”.

“Matthew” his name on her lips “I know you enough to know that there is a but”.

“It’s nothing serious, between me and Magnus. Just fun”.

“And you want more?”.

“Not with him” why the hell has he said that?

She was now so close that he could have simply leaned over to kiss her “I know I am not James but I am here for you. If you need something, or someone. I am here. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to talk to him about... this”.

“There is nothing to talk about”.

She was smiling at him, a tender smile “I am still here”.


	20. Putting on a show

It had been a nightmare. A dream. Something wicked. And he needed to distract himself. He needed to find Magnus. He was hoping he didn’t have to drag him away from all the others, but he was ready to do it. When he saw him entering a room all alone, he almost started running to reach for him.

He managed to stop the door from closing behind the warlock, who turned at him “Matthew  what...? ”.

But the  shadowhunter was kissing him. Something was in the right hand of the warlock, but Matthew didn’t care, he pushed Magnus against the door and took away his own swimsuit top.

“I didn’t know you were going to bring me a show, Magnus”. Matthew froze.  Lamia was sitting behind him on a couch, a smile on her face while watching the young, almost naked, body in front of her. The boy started to put his t-shirt back on “Don’t do that for me, Matthew. Magnus, we can talk after dinner” and she walked out of the room, one last look at the two men, then she closed the door behind her.

“Fuck, I am sorry, I didn’t see her”.

“Don’t worry, she has seen worst. Definitely” Magnus was looking at the body in front of him with very much interest.

“Were you two...?” Matthew wasn’t jealous, but wanted to know.

“What?”.

“What were you doing in here?”.

“Are you jealous?” the warlock smiled in amusement.

“Just curious, I guess”.

“She wanted to ask me about James, actually” he raised the thing that had been in his hand since the beginning “and wanted to see this” a book “She knows I always bring it with me”. It was a book about demons. A strange thing to put in a suitcase for a vacation.

“She needed this, when she has that library downstairs?”.

“There are only a few copies of this, nine actually” Magnus put the book on a coffee table and sat on the couch. “Since you are already half dressed, do you mind joining me?”.

Matthew suddenly felt exposed. The warlock was looking at him with a hungry look, waiting for his next move. And he wasn’t feeling desperate or bold anymore. But he walked to the couch and sat next to the man. And then he asked something really stupid “What about James?”.

“You really want to talk about him?”.

“Sorry, is just...” what was the problem? Was he jealous about James? About the possibility of him and  Lamia , together? “Do you trust her?”.

“With my life. And there is nothing to be jealous about. Now, do you mind telling me what  happened ?”.

Matthew looked at him with a confused look “What do you mean?”.

“You practically jumped on me, no complains, of course”.

“I talked to Cordelia” Matthew reddened; it had been a very childish, desperate behaviour.

“Oh” only said the warlock.

“I’m sorry. I needed to...” but he didn’t get to finish the sentence. Magnus was kissing him, deeply, a hand holding him behind his neck. Slowly, every single move of his lips and tongue deliberate. He pushed Matthew to lay on the couch, never stopping the kissing, never stopping the caressing behind his neck. The boy was trembling, his body needing more, his voice not daring to ask for it.

“What do you want?” Magnus was going to make this fortunate encounter something worth remembering, even if Matthew wasn’t ready to do anything more than the previous time.

Matthew was afraid. He realised in that moment that he was afraid of what he wanted. James, Cordelia, being able to be himself, to tell them who he was and how he felt. And Magnus. In a different way, with different desires and feelings, but he wanted him. So much in that moment that he knew he wasn’t able to tell any of those things out loud. Except for “You”.

Magnus vanished his own clothes, but took his time to take off Matthew’s last piece of swimsuit. He was naked, at the bare feet of the boy, steady and beautiful, looking and looking, foretasting what was coming next. He slipped his body over the  shadowhunter , holding himself not to touch him, shadowing his mouth over the panting one under him “What do you want?”.

If Matthew hadn’t been so lost in the sight over him, he probably would have worried. Wasn’t his previous answer enough? Wasn’t admitting his desire enough? Wasn’t him enough? But he was lost in his desire.  So fucking lost “I want you”.

Magnus reached between their bodies, taking both in his hand and stroking slowly, kissing Matthew and drinking the noises coming from his mouth. The  shadowhunter was holding himself on the other’s shoulders, but he slowly traced the dark skin from top to bottom, and finally reached his aim and boldly stroked Magnus’ butt. The warlock quickened his peace and soon they were both panting and coming.

“Everything ok?” Magnus looked at him from above.

“Perfect, thank you”.

The warlock laughed “You know you don’t have to thank me, right?”.

“Well, you are sacrificing yourself for me” Matthew was smiling, feeling lighter.

“Believe me, it’s all my pleasure”.

“Definitely not all yours”.


	21. Such a vivid image

There was something wrong with him. Something really,  really wrong. 

James was still looking at his hand. Something that evening had come back to him, a memory all foggy and difficult to recall, like a dream. The problem was that it was about that very morning. The weight of the angelic blade, his grip on it, the rage, the fury, something between hate and jealousy. Something that made him attacking something. Someone. But he didn’t remember Matthew in front of him. And yet he knew that it must have been him.

“Something  wrong ?”.

James turned, he hadn’t heard the woman approaching him “I... yes, everything is fine”.

“You are standing in the middle of the hallway, looking at your hand like it’s a snake rolled upon you that you can’t kill without cutting your own arm”.

“What a... vivid image”.

“Your look is something I’ve seen before. What is haunting you?”.

“I have no idea”.

“Of course, you do. You just can’t focus on it yet”.

That was incredibly true, and he couldn’t help but thinking back at that blurred memory “I can’t remember”.

“And yet you know you have something to remember” she was getting close.

“I remember the fury and then something clouded my mind, and I know I did something but I can’t remember it, or why”. It was so frustrating, and yet, he wasn’t angry enough. Why he didn’t remember? And why he wasn’t angrier about it?

“You should come with me”.

“Where?”.

“Where we could try to figure out what is happening to you” she was now so close, looking at him with her snake’s eyes. 

“What if it’s just me? My blood, my inheritance...”.

“Then you’ll know” she touched his face lightly, only ghosting his skin with the tip of her fingers. Something tried to emerge in him, anger and fear, but her demon’s eyes, locked in his own demon’s eyes, kept him grounded somehow.

“Ok”.

“Ok”.

“What do you need?”.

“You. And some help”.

“Magnus?”.

“Who do you trust the most?”.

“Matthew” he answered without hesitation “but I don’t know if he’ll agree to help me after this morning”.

“I think he will” she was still looking at him in the eyes, so close it should have been embarrassing “someone else?”.

He thought about it for only one second, but his mind, grounded in that embrace, was clearer than ever, so the answer was quick “Cordelia”.


	22. Dark silk

Lamia came back to the small sitting room to find Magnus after their encounters with the  Parabatai . After she told the warlock about her worries, he looked at Matthew.

“Do you really think there is something going on with James?”.

“You tell me Matthew”.

“I don’t know. Something is weird, but after what happened... I don’t know”.

“Well, I think it’s worth investigate”.

“Me too” answered Magnus.

“Sure, what do you need?”.

“You” Lamia answered, making Matthew look up at her “What I have in mind is a bounding spell and you are the most important connection he has”.

“Ok” he wanted to argue that Lucy was as important, but he figured it was probably another kind of connection she needed.

“Do you need me too?” asked Magnus.

“You and Cordelia”.

“Why her?” Matthew didn’t want to sound so alarmed, but he couldn’t imagine being bounded with the both of them and getting out of the spell in one piece.

“Because we have to ground him and also raise him. I need two sources of power and two dimensions, but also two gravitational poles”.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea”.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to” Magnus got close to the boy, caressing his back lightly.

“And yet, I have too”. Matthew was feeling forceless, hopeless, when a hand reached him, holding up his chin.

“Your love for them is not something you should be in pain for”  Lamia was looking at him right in the eyes, incredibly close. Her power was surrounding him, a wave of strength and lust, human affection and eternal damnation. “You should wear it like a silk robe on your naked skin, making you shiver and glow, reflecting amber eyes and fire hair”.

The image hit him like a punch, and yet he wanted to hold it for as long as he could. “I’ll do it”.

“You sure?”.

“ Yes, I am ”.

“What about Cordelia?” asked Magnus.

“I’m going to ask her right now”.

“She will say yes” was Matthew’s reply.

And she had said yes. She  hadn ’’t even asked what she had to do. She had just said yes.  Lamia disappeared for a few hours, telling them to be ready for the night. So, they had dinner, a drink and had all went to their bedrooms, not saying a word to the others.

Matthew went to Magnus’ room, just to release a little bit of tension. But he had only managed to sit on the warlock’s lap for a snogging session. His mind was somewhere else, his body right behind it. Magnus didn’t have to ask, he simply kept kissing the boy in his arms. When the time came, they raised from the bed and went upstairs, Magnus kept his hand on Matthew’s side all the way up, and the boy let him. 

They entered a very large leaving room, darkness flowing in from the giant windows.

“This way” Magnus led him through a corridor. A giant carved wooden door was half open, they entered another dark room, the moon was he only source of light. They took a staircase leading to a mezzanine with a giant bed in the middle of it “Lamia’s bedroom” Magnus explained. The dark silk sheets made the boy think back to what the sorceress had told him that afternoon. 

“Where are we going?”.

“The greenhouse”. They exited on the roof and he saw the glass structure and some lights coming from it.

“Here you are” Lamia greeted them, James and Cordelia already next to her “I was showing your friends some of the  plants in here”.

“Demonic plants” pointed out James.

“And angelic ones. I also grew some earthly flowers in here, that’s why it’s the perfect place”.

“We need three of everything. Three sons of angels, three sons of demons” started Magnus.

“Three humans. Three sources of power” Lamia continued.

“You said we needed two” Matthew replied.

“Two  other than James. Like you and Cordelia are going to be two of the three poles. He is going to be the fulcrum between the two of you” the sorceress explained. She took James’ hands and put him in the centre of the room “Earth, sky and this dimension are going to pour into you. The plants and flowers from all the dimensions will keep you grounded to your humanity while me and Magnus are going to make magic flew in you from Matthew to Cordelia and back”. She took Cordelia’s right hand and placed it in James’, she then gestured Matthew to do the same with the left. It was weird to hold hands in the candle light while magic was saturating the air around them. Matthew felt Cordelia’s free hand in his and froze. Was this part of the spell? “Now, Magnus and I are going to mirror you. Don’t lose your grip”.

Matthew looked in Magnus’ eyes because he couldn’t look anywhere else and the warlock smiled at him, then his eyes turned in cat’s eyes and the magic began. Everything was vibrating of power, the moon itself looked off-focus.  Lamia pronounced an incantation in some old language he didn’t recognise, the warlock was chanting with her. Matthew’s hands started to tremble but he strengthened the hold, Cordelia intertwined her fingers with his and he did the same with James. He looked at his Parabatai, his amber eyes were glowing but he looked lost, he saw again those eyes in silk sheets, so close to get lost in them, while red hair were floating next to them, in the darkness of the night. Or maybe it was the sheets to be dark. The vision was like a thin sheet between him and reality. He felt the magic flowing from Cordelia’s hand to his, but something was preventing it from reaching James’ through him. So, it came back through him, Cordelia and James again. It was like the circle couldn’t complete and he felt like he was losing something, or worse, someone. He realised it was James, the person he loved the most. He couldn’t really feel him, instead Cordelia’s presence was strong besides him. He tightened the grip on both James and Cordelia but the magic was still unable to pass. The vision of the three of them became clearer, like his pain. Was this his fault? Was his wrong love for his  Parabatai hurting him?

_ “No, you are not the problem”  _ he felt Lamia’s voice in his head so, he looked at her. She was smiling with human eyes, like she knew something. Then everything stopped. The vision disappeared. 

Cordelia looked at him shocked “Matthew” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like to read a little Prequel of this story, I have written "A Christmas Spell", a short fic set before "The Third Ring".  
> You can find it as the third part of the serie "The Chronicles of broken spells and loves".


	23. I see you, I always have

Matthew ran away. He didn’t wait to know what Lamia knew. He didn’t wait for Magnus; he hadn’t even looked at him. Cordelia had seen the vision and he had to go. He knew she had seen everything. He ran in his bedroom and closed the door behind him. When he heard the light footsteps approaching, he hoped she wouldn’t come in. 

“Matthew” she said behind the door. He could picture her perfectly. The small hand on the knob, struggling between what she wanted and what she thought was the right thing to do. Beautiful and still surrounded by the magic.

He didn’t answer. She opened the door and closed it back behind her. Approaching the  bed where he was sitting on, she never lowered her gaze off the boy in front of her. He was tormenting his hands, bronze curls covering his face in the dark room. The only sound was the rustling of her nightgown.

“Please, stop” he said when  she got too close.

She did but “Look at me” ordered. And he obliged. “What I have seen...”

“It’s nothing” he interrupted.

“Don’t lie to me Matthew. Don’t hide from me” she walked until her robes where touching Matthew’s long legs.

“You don’t want to see who I really am, what I really desire”.

“I see you; I always have. Your pain, your strength, your love, your passions, your struggle. And now that I have seen what you want... I think I know you even better. Now everything makes sense”.

He lowered his eyes. Pity and compassion were the last things he wanted to see in her eyes, but she took his chin gently with just two fingers, while the other hand went to move his curls from his face. She was breathing hard, looking at him intensively. She was even more beautiful than usual, struggling and yet not letting him go. So, he decided to take the opportunity she was  accidentally offering. He got up just the few inches he needed to kiss her, one hand on the bed to hold himself, the other in Cordelia’s hair. He simply touched her lips and caressed her hair, before sitting back on the bed. 

She took a step further to stand between his legs “Matthew”. He was waiting for a refusal when she kissed him again, gentle but firm. He had no idea where to put his hands, how to kiss her, how to work in general. She pulled slightly away “Kiss me”.

He did. His brain wasn’t working but he could follow an order. His hands hold her hips, he felt the warm of her skin under the nightgown. He wanted to feel more but didn’t dare. Instead, he kissed her deeply, opening his mouth, sucking her lips and making her shiver. She leaned a little more and he guided her to lay on him on the bed. She was laying on the top of him, able to feel all his body under hers.

“Is this okay?” he managed to ask.

“It is, for me” she answered, suddenly blushing “More than okay”.

He tentatively moved his hands up and down her back. He needed to touch her to make sure she was real. But her weight over him was very real, and absolutely perfect. “What do you want?” he asked her.

She blushed even more, but looked at him “I want this. I want you” and kissed him before speaking again against his lips “And I want what you want. All of it”. He closed his eyes, the want and need suddenly too much to handle, especially with her body pressed against his “I can’t give you James, I can’t give him to you... to us. But I can give you this. I hope it’s enough... for now at least”.

“Are you serious?” he couldn’t believe her. Couldn’t dare to believe her words.

“I never even imagined I could wish for any of this. I was torn between James and you, also thinking about Grace and Magnus, wishing for both of you to be happy, knowing I wasn’t enough” Matthew tried to interrupt her, but she silenced him with a kiss “Now I know that, at least for you, I am not enough but I am a part of what you want. For me it’s enough”.

“You are more than enough”.

“I am not. James is part of you, part of your happiness. And I want it all for you, and for me”.

“It could never become reality”.

“Maybe not, maybe it could. But, for now...”

“What?”.

“You and Magnus...”

“I’ll end it. It’s just fun, for the both of us”.

“I don’t think you should”.

“Why not?”.

She sat in his lap, putting a little distance between them “Because, he can give you something I can’t”.

“What are you talking ab...” Matthew turned purple, suddenly realizing “Cordelia! I don’t think I... you shouldn’t...”.

“Oh, come on. Don’t act like an idiot” she laid besides him on the bed “You are still struggling. You need to accept all you want and need”.

“Having sex with Magnus isn’t the answer”.

“Don’t you like it?”.

“We didn’t have sex”. She looked at him incredulous “Not exactly”.

“Why not?”.

“I won’t answer that”.

“I would have never thought you being prude”.

“I would have never thought you not being, at all!”.

“Me neither, it’s probably the magic. And the vision”.

He looked at her, sprawled on the bed next to him “It didn’t seem right. I always thought the first should be James”.

“What about the first woman?” she asked him, pulling him so he was partially on her.

“That ship sailed a long time ago, sorry”.

“Don’t be sorry”.

“You don’t mind?”.

“Not really. I know I’m in good hands”.

He growled, the promise in those words was too much to handle “You are killing me”.

“Only because you are holding yourself”.

“We won’t have sex tonight”.

“I agree. Too much happened, too much magic, too many emotions. But...”

He held her, breathing her scent from her neck “But...?”

“But I would like to stay here. If it’s okay for you” she managed to say, between two pleasure moans. Matthew had started kissing her neck and it was absolute perfection.

“You sure?” he whispered in her neck.

“You should stop stalling and start kissing. You are better at it”.

And he did.


	24. The morning after

The night had been eventless. Well, mostly. Every time Matthew had woken up and had felt the presence of Cordelia next to him, he had breathed her scent, traced her features in the dark, afraid to wake her and at the same time not to, and lose precious time. But when she had woken him up that morning the wait had been repaid. They had kissed, slowly, deeply, whispering their names, giggling and moaning, caressing each other through their night robes. Matthew had to force himself out of the bed, but he couldn’t go any further without talking to Magnus first. He knew they were just having fun, being each other distractions, but he still felt the need to put things in order.

He knocked at the warlock’s bedroom but no one answered, it was too early for him to be already downstairs having breakfast. He took the stairs to the upper floor, hoping to find Magnus in Lamia’s apartment. The warlock was sprawled on the wide couch, the rising dawn painting his skin from the large windows. His chest was bare, alien and wonderful in the lingering magic covering his body. A light blanket was covering his lower body, but Matthew still blushed at the sight in front of him.

“Absolutely gorgeous” Lamia whispered behind him “isn’t he?”.

“Sorry, I need to talk to him but it can wait” he tried to left the room and the intimacy of the scene. Lamia was wearing something that should have probably been a nightgown but the fabric was too transparent, yet dark and fluent, surely woven with magic.

“HE already knows” Magnus had woken up and was looking at them with a smile.

“I didn’t want to wake you”.

“Don’t worry” the warlock stretched like a cat, being careful at covering himself with the blanket. 

Matthew blushed realising Magnus was naked under it, which meant he and Lamia had probably spent the night together “I should go, we can talk later” the boy stammered.

“I can go if you want some time alone” Lamia whispered before reaching Magnus on the couch.

“Oh no, there is no need” Matthew argued.

“Stop tormenting him. Come and sit Matthew, there is no need to be so embarrassed. Nothing happened tonight, just some magic sharing”.

“Talk for yourself, Matthew probably had a more interesting night than we did”.

“I... we...” the  Shadowhunter swallowed hardly, his mouth dry, his skin hot for the embarrassment, his brain slower for the memories of the night before, and the morning too. He sat in front of the two creatures, beautiful and still enveloped in magic. “Nothing happened. I needed to talk to you first”.

“This is very chivalrous of you but there was no need Matthew, I well knew you were in love with her”.

“Yes, I know, but you made it possible so”.

“I didn’t do anything Matthew,  Lamia on the other hand...” and he looked amused at the woman next to him. She was totally still, somehow, she had managed to merge with the rising light of the day. While a sly smile appeared on her face, Matthew noticed that the rays of light seemed to pass through her, which should have been impossible. He closed his eyes taking a big breath, shaking off the magic that was still very present in the air. It was even more solid than the night before.

“What do you mean?” he asked when he found back the ability to speak.

“The vision”.

“I thought it happened because of the burst of magic”.

“Of course, but we were channelling it through you and back to us, there is no magic we, SHE, can’t control” he replied.

“Why did you do it?” Matthew felt in awe in front of the woman, looking less and less human by the minute, but he needed to know.

“She wanted to see” she simply answered.

At those words something terrifying occurred to him “Did James see it too?”.

“He did, but there is something blocking his magic and his memories too. He isn’t able to process and remember it”.

Matthew breathed in relief, then he was worried again “Is he okay? Do you know what’s wrong with him?”.

“I need some time, as you can feel the magic is still... working”.

So, that was it. The magic was still so present because the spell was still on course “Ok. I think I should go back now”.

“Yes, you should” Magnus was smiling at him, and Matthew thought for a moment to accept Cordelia’s suggestion, his long arms were resting on the back of the couch, his left hand playing with Lamia’s hair. But he didn’t want to take any chance to ruin what was in front of him. She was waiting for him in his bedroom, they had all the time they wanted, he could be happy living a life with her, even without James. She was more than enough; more he had ever imagined to deserve. So, when he left the room there was no regret, he watched the warlock with gratitude and a soft smile.

The second Matthew closed the door,  Lamia turned her attention to Magnus “Are you really ok with this?”.

“Of course, I am. He is a very handsome and smart boy, but it couldn’t be anything more than what it was with a Shadowhunter”.

“You could never know what the future holds for us”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Of course, I am. He is a very handsome and smart boy, but it couldn’t be anything more than what it was with a Shadowhunter”.   
> “You could never know what the future holds for us”. 
> 
> Of course, Lamia knows, as much as we do, how wrong Magnus is. Malec is one of my favourite ships EVER!


	25. Something forgotten

When Matthew bumped against James, he was in the best mood he had been in a very long time. He had already been back to his bedroom, shared the good news with Cordelia, and shared something more. He would have liked to just lock the door and wrap both of them in this new and unexpected bliss. But, he couldn’t. Why the hell he couldn’t?

He had accompanied Cordelia back to her bedroom, a few metres and a lot of goodbyes kisses later, he had taken a shower. Alone, in his room. The  shadowhunter had spent all the time asking himself why he had stopped Cordelia, why he had stopped himself from moving on with what they were both eager to share. But the moment he crossed his road with James’ he knew exactly what was the problem.

“Hi, how are you?”.

“Hi, fine, I guess” James rubbed the back of head, clearly confused.

“Heading for breakfast?”.

“Yeah, you too?”.

Matthew nodded, then led the way downstairs. “So, what do you remember about last night?” The  shadowhunter was curious and terrified at the same time.

“The magic. I can still feel it buzzing. Pretty annoying”.

“Anything else?”.

“Not really. I found myself sleeping in my bedroom, no idea how I got there. I only remember the beginning of the spell and this... weight, like something big had trudged over me. I kind of still feel it”.

“Have you seen  Lamia ? Asked her if it’s normal?”.

“No, I just got up. By the way” James stopped, looking at Matthew “thank you for being there for me”.

“Of course, we are Parabatai”.

“I should thank Cordelia too, have you seen her?”.

“No” they haven’t really discussed if and how release the news “She is probably downstairs with the others”.

“Probably. Come on, I’m starving”.

They found everyone except for Alastair in the kitchen. Magnus was now fully dressed, but the image of their morning encounter hit Matthew. Until he saw Cordelia and everything else disappeared. The moment they entered the room she smiled at him, a warm, full of promises smile, something he had never thought to deserve. But she smiled at James too. And it took only a few seconds for Matthew to remember one little detail, one that he had ignored in the last hours, one he had been hiding in his memory, in that part of his brain where all the bad things he had done or had happened were crawling and bubbling, waiting for a false step, a glimpse of hope to hit him hard.

“I should go” James  turned to look at him.

“Why?”.

“I... I forgot something”. Yeah, something fucking important.

“Want me to come with you?”.

“No, no, I’ll be back in a minute” and he was out of the room. He knew there was no way to escape the mess he had woken in. He also knew there was no way someone wasn’t going to follow him.

“Matthew  wait !” he had gone directly to the bar, unable to find the way for his bedroom or any other place. It was the closest, it was the most comforting. Matthew turned to watch Cordelia; she was so beautiful. She approached him and took his hand. He couldn’t force himself to push her away, not knowing this could have been the last time “What happened?”.

“I can’t”.

“You can’t what?” she looked scared but wasn’t willing to let him go easily.

“You are marrying him” those words, their meaning and the truth well known by both of them, rolled in the silence.

Until she spoke “I am”.

Matthew nodded, holding her hand a little stronger “This isn’t fair”.

“I know it’s not fair for you but me and James have an agreement. It will be over in a year and then we...” but Cordelia stopped because he was laughing.

“Not fair for me? I was talking about you!”.

“Me? I put myself in this mess with James and the only thing I regret is not being able to be with you in front of the others for a whole year!”.

“In front of the others?”.

“Yes, unless you have changed your mind about us. I have no intention to bring both of you down with me, but I don’t want to lose  a year with you either”.

“So, you are proposing a secret relationship?”.

She blushed, looking at their joined hands “If you agree”.

Of course, he would, but there were no words to express how much he wanted that, how much he wanted her. So, he kissed her. He strongly took her waist to make her body arch against his and kiss her deeply. Cordelia held herself at his shoulder, one hand still in his. 

“What were you thinking?” she asked him when he moved his lips on her neck.

“That you are going to marry the man you love, and that I was keeping you from the possibility of being with him”.

Cordelia took his face in her small hands and kissed him tenderly “I love you; I want to be with you. And you are right, I love James too, we both do. But we only have an arrangement and not living this, us, because maybe he could forget Grace... I don’t want that. And even if I knew that he loves me, it wouldn’t be enough without you”.

“But...” he started.

“No but” she replied stubbornly.

“But” and he put a finger on her lips with a smile “We have to tell him”.

“Yeah, we should. But not today”.

“Not today” and they were kissing again. They didn’t notice that the door was open, that someone had heard, someone had seen. 


	26. Let off some steam

Of course, it should have been him. His usual bad luck. Why he hadn’t stayed with the others a little longer? A lot longer. What was he supposed to do? Enter the room and confront them? Talk to James? Keep the secret? He hated secrets, unless they were inevitable. Actually, even if they were inevitable. And what about Alastair? He was going to get so angry...

“Good morning Thomas. What are you doing here?” Thomas couldn’t believe it. How was this even possible? What were the chances?

“Nothing” the most suspicious answer ever. Alastair looked at him, narrowing his eyes and when he looked at the door behind Thomas, the boy put himself in front of it. It was instinctive. It was stupid. Because of course, now Alastair knew perfectly that something was going on, and he knew exactly where it was going on. 

“Nothing” Alastair moved closer, not trying to get through the taller boy. 

“Are you hungry?”.

Alastair raised one eyebrow “Are you trying to distract me?” a small surprised smile appearing on his face. Thomas knew it was going to disappear soon. “You know... there are better ways to distract me”.

When Alastair took another step closer, Thomas couldn’t help but flinch. In that moment of distraction Alastair passed under his arm too fast to be stopped and looked in the room. Thomas hoped really hard that Cordelia and Matthew were gone, but the sudden rigidity in Alastair posture told him otherwise. He was ready to stop him for bursting in and do something like punch Matthew. But Alastair simply took a step back and started walking away. Before Thomas could react the shadowhunter was already running away. Alastair reached the first floor before he heard someone running behind him.

“Alastair” Thomas tried.

“NO”.

“I’m sorry”.

“YOU are sorry?”.

“I didn’t know what to do”.

“Fuck, you are unbelievable” Thomas was already looking at his own feet, at those words he lowered his shoulders, ready to take the hit. When a hand stroked his arm, he finally looked at the man in front of him “I need to burn some energy, would you like to train with me?”.

“Sure”.

“I’ll see you outside in ten” and Thomas looked at Alastair disappearing in his bedroom. That went definitely too well.

Less than ten minutes later the two boys were outside in their training suits looking for a place to fight without destroying the perfectly cured garden. They found a small clearing in the middle of a circle of tall trees. 

“This should go” Alastair left his weapon belt on a rock and started stretching. 

Thomas looked at him a little worried. The other  shadowhunter hadn’t said a single word about what he had seen. “Are you okay?”.

“Why shouldn’t I?”.

“Alastair, please”.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s fight” and he took an angel sword, lighting it up and turning it over in his fingers.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to fight if you are...”

“If I am what, Thomas?”.

“Angry? Flustered? Distracted?”.

“It’s either this or go back in there” and he indicated the house with the angelic blade “and beat the shit out of my sister’s fiancé and his best friend. Not sure in what order because I have not decided yet who is fucking up with her the most. So, what do you say?”.

That was surely... honest. Thomas nodded “Jophiel” he called the sword “Let’s fight”.

“Figure”

They fought for a while, learning each other’s way of fighting, skills and weaknesses. But most important Alastair was letting off some steam. After almost half an hour they were both breathing hard, arms and legs tired for the fighting, minds clearer and similar smiles raising after a good lunge or dodge. Thomas was stronger but Alastair was faster and more strategic. After a very long exchange, Alastair moved to a rock to sit and dry his sweat with a small towel. Thomas followed to drink some water.

“Yours is a very peculiar way of fighting” Thomas pointed out.

“Persian techniques”.

“Impressive, never seen anything similar”.

“Except with my sister” Thomas looked at him with surprise “I know very well she has been following all of you around, playing the hero with Cortana”.

“I... I am sorry”.

“Why do you keep apologising for things that are not your fault?”.

“I could have stopped her”.

Alastair laughed making Thomas look at him in wonder “No one could stop her. Not you, not me and not even those two idiots in there”. Alastair took the towel and raised it to Thomas’ face. He dried his front, then his cheeks and moved to his neck.

“ Th.. Thank you” Thomas wasn’t able to swallow anymore. What was going on?

Alastair chuckled, letting his hand drop. “You are not going to make this easy, are you?”. Thomas must have been still in lack of oxygen because he wasn’t able to say or do anything. Not that he didn’t want to, but what was the right thing to do? Whatever it was he never got the chance to find it out. Alastair got up, recovering his belt “We better go, we both need a shower” and reached out for Thomas, who took his hand and raise, a little too close to the other shadowhunter “Thank you Thomas”.

“No problem” was the only thing able to come of his mouth. What was wrong with him? What was happening?

They started walking back to the house, Alastair smiling and brushing his fingers with the other’s hand, Thomas rigid and furiously blushing.


	27. It's about James

The afternoon went on with no other accidents. Lucy spent the day with Christopher and Cordelia in the library. The girl was very annoyed because she was trying to write her book in the silent companion of the other two shadowhunters, but everyone else kept passing through the library for no good reason. 

The most insistent was Matthew, which was weird since he had avoided all of them in the last few days. Well, Magnus excluded. He had been all over the warlock, but since he was hiding somewhere with Lamia, Matthew was back in the picture. Which wouldn’t have been a problem, if he hadn’t been very annoying, mostly with Cordelia, asking her stupid question about really boring books. Thomas, the usually silent, invisible Thomas, had walked in and out the library all the afternoon, approaching Christopher like he needed him, then running away with an excuse. The worst time was the one he actually managed to sit next to him but the moment Alastair had entered the room he had loudly dropped the book he was pretending to read to run away, not before colliding against a reading table. Alastair hadn’t been so bad. After Thomas’ retreat he had simply stayed in front of his sister looking at her insistently.

“What?” she had asked at some point.

Alastair was about to say something before replying “Nothing” with a growl. 

The only one missing was James. Lucy knew something was wrong with her brother and that It was probably Grace’s fault, but she had no idea how to help him. If only he was able to forget her and fall for Cordelia! Everything would have been perfect and their marriage could have been a real one.

She had totally abandoned the idea of writing something good when Magnus burst in the library. He looked around searching for something “Where is James?” apparently for someone.

“Haven’t seen all day” Lucy answered.

“Magnus, what’s going on?” asked Cordelia.

“You should find Matthew. I’ll go find James”.

“Is this about the spell?” Cordelia got up, visibly worried.

“What spell?” Lucy got up as well.

“Yes, it is about the spell, and now it’s not the time to fill you in”.

“I’ll go find Matthew” answered Cordelia.

“I’ll go look for James. Kit, you too” ordered Lucy.

Magnus looked at them like he wanted to argue, but then changed his mind “Fine. Lamia is waiting for us in the greenhouse”.

“There is a greenhouse?”

“Last floor. Find Thomas first” Cordelia answered before leaving the library.

Lucy and Christopher found Thomas and Alastair talking in the garden. If Lucy hadn’t been so worried about his brother, she would have said something about the amount of time those two were spending together. “It’s about James” Christopher simply said and the other two followed them inside, one worried, the other annoyed.

It was actually Alastair who found James. He was looking at his own hand in the gym. Lucy slowly approached him “Jamie, Magnus is looking for you”.

“Mm?” it took him a little to put her figure on focus.

“What’s wrong with him?” asked Alastair.

“Nothing is wrong with him” Lucy hoped that it was true “Come on”. 

They went upstairs, once on the upper floor they found Magnus waiting for them “This way” he looked so serious, he never was that serious.

Cordelia and Matthew were already there, Lamia was chatting with them, a small smile on her lips “Oh, there you are” she locked her eyes with James, their eyes so different and yet so similarly inhuman. Lucy had grown up being used to demon eyes, even loving them, but Lamia’s were able to pull strings of discomfort in her.

“What is this?” asked Lucy, putting herself in front of James.

“This is my greenhouse. A place where everything is in balance, an anchor to reality and yet a door to the human world and the demon dimensions”.

“And what do you  want to do to my brother?”

“She already did, Luce” James’ answer  sounded like an apology.

“You let her spell you?”

“I needed to know. Something is wrong with me”.

“There is nothing wrong wit...”

“Actually, there is” Lamia interrupted her. Lucy turned to watch her again in fear. But she was smiling and it was a good smile. How could she smile like that after what she had just said?

“What is it?” Matthew was ghostly pale, his gaze fixed on his Parabatai.

“Someone spell bounded him. This connection is taking away his will, his ability to make choices, to think, his ability to be free. It’s able to severe every other  connection he has”.

“How?”

“Who?”

Lamia walked toward James, asking Lucy for permission. The girl moved and the sorceress took James’ hand in hers “With this”.

She was lightly touching a silver bracelet, something James had always had. He had never  taken it away, not since he was a child “Who gave you this?”

Lucy tried to take the bracelet but James took his arm away, trying to protect the silver band “Don’t touch it”.

“James, you have to take it away” Matthew tried, but his  Parabatai started walking backwards, looking for a way to escape.

“He can’t take it away, it’s part of the spell”.

“NO, IT’S NOT! It’s a gift, a symbol, a...”

“Grace” Cordelia whispered the name like a curse. Of course, it must have been Grace. Everyone realised, watching James’ reaction, that she had found the answer.

“How can we stop the spell?” Matthew asked.


	28. This doesn't change anything

“I don’t know it”.

She didn’t know it. 

Those words where hunting all of them. Lucy was trying to focus on what Magnus has said after. “Yet, we don’t know yet”. Thomas and Christopher, followed by Alastair, were gone to look in the library, while Magnus and Lamia where somewhere with James.

James. The  shadowhunter had gone numb the minute Cordelia had guessed who had given him the bracelet, but no one was able to take the damn thing away, even if the boy hadn’t really put on a fight.

Matthew had tried, focusing on his bond with his  Parabatai , but he had felt that something was wrong. It wasn’t the first time and now he knew why. When he had finally took his fingers away from his friend wrist, he had watched Cordelia. A look of pain in her eyes, despair and anger fighting in her. All Matthew had wanted was to keep holding James while running to Cordelia. But he couldn’t. He was useless for him and the thing with Cordelia was still a secret. So, he had stayed in the middle of them, looking at Magnus for some help.

“We’ll figure it out” the warlock had said to him, before taking James away.

Matthew was left in the greenhouse, Cordelia waiting for him. Alastair had stayed behind just a few seconds, like he wanted to say something. Matthew had watched him, ready to hear the worst from him, but Thomas had lightly touched his elbow and with a smile he had asked him to follow.

“Would you come? I really need your help” the tone was tender and with something that made Matthew arch an eyebrow. But he was grateful, because now he was alone with Cordelia.

“What is going on with those two?” he had asked her, trying to sound interested. He couldn’t care less about what was going on in Alastair’s life in that moment. But he was Cordelia’s brother and he needed to think about something else than James.

“I think they are friends. Thomas has always been very kind to him” she wasn’t looking at Matthew, but tracing her fingers over a golden flower’s petals.

“Be careful, some of these are dangerous” he was afraid to get close to her. Something in her behaviour was keeping him away. 

She looked up at him “Come here”. 

He obliged, still afraid of what was coming next. He knew she loved James. He knew what the fact that he was under a spell could mean. Cordelia used his chest for leverage to reach his lips and kiss him. No holding back, no tenderness, just need. Matthew bent down just enough for her to deepen the kiss and intertwine her fingers in his curls. He lost himself in her but only for a few moments “We should talk”.

“About what?”

“About what this means”.

She looked at him with so much tenderness that he almost lost balance “I am kissing you because I want to, because I want to be with you. THIS doesn’t change anything”.

“But it does” why couldn’t he simply enjoy what she was offering? Even if it wouldn’t last? It was still more than he had ever hoped for.

“Are you going to run away from me to throw yourself in James’ arms the moment they are going to lift the spell?” she asked him. She was sarcastic and a little hurt too. Both the feelings well readable on her face.

“Are you serious?”

“And you? You really think this, us, means nothing for me? Always ready to ask if I am sure, waiting for me to leave you for the possibility to be with James. So now I am asking the same to you. If James walked into this room now, telling you he loves you and wants to be with you, would you leave me? You have loved him before you even knew me so, it would be normal for you to just decide to be with him rather than me”.

“Are you kidding?”

“I have never been so serious Matthew”.

“It’s not the same” and he couldn’t believe she thought they were in the same position.

“It is exactly the same”.

“He loves you, now I know for sure he does. What happened at Hypatia’s place now makes even more sense”.

“He loves you too”.

“As a friend”.

“Maybe, maybe not. But the point is that I won’t leave you, not even for him. And you?”

“Are you really asking me?”

“For the Angel! Yes Matthew! I would never assume you would lose the chance to be with him, you never promised me anything and even if you did...”

“I didn’t only because I thought it was pointless”.

“Pointless”.

“I would be an idiot to lose you. I could accept to be without you only if it was you who chooses to leave me. Only if you choose someone else to make you happy but... for me there is no happiness without you”.

“And I already told you that a life without you, even with James, wouldn’t be enough. How many times do I have to tell you before you believe me?”

“Maybe a few more?”

She looked at him and smiled “What if...” and she kissed him lightly before whispering in his ear “... what if I show you?”


	29. Taking our time

They moved from the greenhouse, unable to stop kissing and caressing each other so, they moved really slow. They were shadowhunters, but there was no training designed for moving while kissing, especially on stairs. After a couple of steps and the exact same number of almost mortal incidents, Matthew took Cordelia in his arms and quickly descended to their bedrooms floor. 

Cordelia had felt bold in the greenhouse, but now, so close to her bedroom, ancient, deeply rooted fears were raising in her head. Was she sure? Was he the right man? Will he lose his interest once he had her? Will it hurt? What if she wasn’t good enough for him? He had a lot of experience and she had none. She was trying really hard to focus on the Matthew she loved and not the one he showed to everyone else when he abruptly stopped. She was holding herself to his upper arms, face in his neck and it wasn’t comfortable to turn and see what had stopped him. 

“Matthew what...?” but she managed to turn and saw. She struggled to go back on her feet, but Matthew didn’t help her at all, frozen on spot, looking at a very angry Alastair. 

“Alastair we...” 

“Don’t even try lying to me. This is not the first time I see you two, at least then you tried to hide whatever this is”. 

“This is me being in love with Matthew”. 

“And what about James?” 

“You very well know that there is an arrangement”. 

“One that is going to ruin you”. 

“I don’t care and it’s none of your business”. 

“I am your brother so it IS my business”. 

“I won’t stop just because you don’t like it, Alastair”. 

“You are going to ruin your life”. 

“Just like you did?” Cordelia didn’t want to reproach his story with Charles and surely, she didn’t want to expose his brother with Matthew. It wasn’t her secret to reveal. 

“Do as you want, but I won’t be there to save you”. 

“She won’t need it” Matthew finally said. He didn’t want to intrude; he didn’t want to make matters worse but he had no intention to let Cordelia be alone in this, even if he thought that Alastair didn’t deserve any explanation or justification from them. 

“We’ll see” and the shadowhunter left the hallway, leaving them alone, both astonished and a little bewildered. 

“That was easy” Cordelia commented. 

“If you say so”. 

“Believe me, it was very easy” she laughed, the tension leaving her. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, still a little worried. 

“Not really” she intertwined her fingers with his, pulling him toward her bedroom door “Why you are not kissing me, again?” 

“We just got caught by your brother”. 

“Then, maybe we should move to somewhere more” and she opened the door “private”. 

Once inside Cordelia kissed Matthew before he could manage to close the door “Are you sure you are okay?” 

“Stop asking, I am great. All I want now is for you to kiss me”. 

“Just kissing?” he asked with a little grin, finally accepting her reassuring words to be true. 

She took a couple of steps back, getting near the bed. She took away her hair clip, letting her red curls fall on her shoulders and partially cover her chest. Cordelia started to loosen her bodice, never looking at Matthew, who was drinking the sight in front of him, holding his breath, trying really hard not to run and get her undress. He wanted to take his time watching her. He wanted her to take her time and find her confidence and rhythm. Cordelia let her dress fall on the ground and gracefully stepped out of the tangle of tulle and silk. She was still wearing a powder pink slip, but she was the most sensual and beautiful thing Matthew had ever seen. She finally looked up, holding out a hand for him “Would you like to join me?” 

Matthew didn’t run; he didn’t leave her to wait for him, but didn’t run either. They were hiding their relation, he gladly indulged at thinking at the word ‘relation’, but Alastair knew. James needed to know, but he had other matters in mind at the moment. So, they weren’t in a hurry, no parents to avoid, no demon to fight. Only them. Only Cordelia in her perfect beauty. He joined her near the bed and without touching her, Matthew smelled the sweet, floral perfume, lingering in her hair “Tell me, what do you want?” he asked in a whisper. 

“You”. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be explicit so, I will write it so that the story is readable even by skipping it.  
> I will also post it as a oneshot in the series, like I did with Devious before.


	30. Catch your breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's raiting is Explicit.  
> The story works perfectly without "Catch your breath", so feel free not to read it.

"Tell me, what do you want?” Matthew asked in a whisper.

“You”.

The boy kissed Cordelia, gently holding her with one hand on her hip, the other stroking her hair “You are so beautiful” he managed to say before starting to kiss her neck.

“And you are definitely too dressed”.

Matthew was ready to indulge when he changed his mind “Do you trust me?”

Cordelia looked at him, a sarcastic grin quickly raising on her face “Should I?”

“A little late to change your mind, don’t you think?”

“I have no intention of changing my mind, but trusting the big, bad Matthew Fairchild” she kissed him “do you really think I should?”

“I... yes”.

“Then, yes”.

“Let me take this” and took the strap from her shoulder in his fingers “off”.

She nodded and when the last piece of her clothing was on the ground tried really hard not to cover herself from the hungry look of Matthew. But there wasn’t only hunger; tenderness, disbelief and affection where the things she was more than willing to be naked in front of “Are you really going to stand there all dressed up?”

“I intend to stay dressed for a little more, yes. But” he took her in his arms to drop her in the  centre of the bed “the bed is definitely more comfortable”.

Matthew was again kissing Cordelia; his hands were eager to touch her body but he had other plans for all that perfect skin. His mouth moved to her ear, the neck under it, the collarbone he had watched with desire every time it showed under a dress. He kissed and sucked, making it flush. When he reached her breasts, choosing the first to suck was almost impossible. Cordelia moaned and called his name when he took the other in his hand. He kept kissing her, but when he arrived at her belly he stopped. He didn’t know if it was because something in him still thought it was wrong or because he was waiting for Cordelia to stop him. He breathed hard making her shiver.

“Is everything okay?”

Matthew looked up at her, beautiful, perfect and a total mess “Everything is perfect, you are perfect”. 

He kissed his way down to her, holding her body in place when first reached her core. “Matthew what?”

“Let me, please” he talked so close to her that she shivered. Cordelia didn’t stop him or tried to argue so, the boy licked her. It was his first time as much as hers and it was glorious. The moans of pleasure Cordelia  was trying to hold were ravishing and it was all his doing. He had to remember thanking Magnus, but later, definitely later. He kissed her and licked her, letting Cordelia arch against his mouth to get the pressure she was seeking. 

She came with a surprised gasp “Matthew, I... Wow, what?”

He laughed, moving to lay next to her naked, panting body “Catch your breath”.

She laughed and after a moment of hesitation turned to kiss him “Wow, thank you”.

“You don’t have to thank me”.

“Oh, but I want to” and she unbuttoned his shirt to trace his skin.

“Are you sure?”

“If you don’t stop asking that...” she threatened him.

Matthew laughed “Fine, fine”.

“How nice of you to indulge me” Cordelia unbuttoned his trousers and pushed them down, taking them off his long, muscled legs. Once they were both naked and laying, she kissed him, getting so close to feel him warm and hard against her leg. She let her  fingers wander close to him before taking him in her small hand.

“Cordelia”.

“Tell me what’s good” and stroked him gently.

“Good”.

She stroked again, this time stronger “And this?”

“Definitely good” he took her hand in his to make her move quicker and he came like this, holding her on him, kissing her deeply. Cordelia moved only to take a towel and clean both of them. Once his hand was clean and his breath was again slow and steady, he moved it over her skin, never tired of touching, stroking or kissing it.

“Matthew, what are you doing?”

“Already tired of me?”

“Mm, let me think” she joked, while his hand was reaching her core again.

“Don’t think too long” he stopped, only one finger lingering on her heat.

“Matthew” she said in a whisper.

“Yes, Cordelia?”

“Touch me, please”.

He made her come, this time pushing one finger in her folds, while circling her with his thumb. Matthew pushed her near the edge two times before making her cry her pleasure.

“You are incredible” Matthew whispered against the skin of her breast.

“And you are a talented bastard” she answered back, laughing a little.

“Am I?”


	31. Nothing like them

Alastair was angry. No, angry wasn’t even close to what he was feeling because he was furious, disappointed and sad. He didn’t want to be sad. He didn’t want to think about Charles, about the time he had lost with him. About the hope he had put in him and in what they had. He had been an idiot and he didn’t want his sister to make the same mistakes. But the problem was that he was sad and jealous, because he had believed what Matthew had said. But he had believed Charles too.

He was almost running, looking for the place more distance from any of them. He ran toward his bedroom, only one flight of stairs down, but he had never taken a more difficult path in his life. He was almost there, finally able to be safely alone with his anger and mixed feelings. But he couldn’t be that lucky, of course. Christopher was there, coming out of Thomas’ bedroom, a book in his hands.

The  shadowhunter looked at Alastair “Thomas is inside”.

“I’m not looking for him” Alastair replied harshly.

Christopher didn’t seem to notice “Ah, okay”.

“If you don’t mind” Alastair walked pass him and reached his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Christopher looked at the closed door for a few seconds. He didn’t really get all the drama, didn’t understand why his friends always had to put themselves in complicated, very emotional situations. He was about to go to the library and join Lucy when he decided otherwise and knocked back at Thomas’ room. His friend appeared almost immediately “Forgot something?”

“I think you want to check on him” and pointed Alastair’s bedroom door.

“Something happened?” Thomas asked, visibly blushing.

“I think so, but maybe you should ask. See you later” and turned to walk away.

“Thank you”.

Christopher raised his thumb, half turning to smile at him. However, he wasn’t going to stay and assist at what was going to happen after. He had already done enough.

Thomas waited for Christopher to disappear down the staircase before knocking. No one answered so, he opened the door. Alastair was on the bed, turning his back at him. “Can I come in?” No answer. He walked toward the bedroom but once close he had no idea of what to do “Are you okay?”

“Go away”.

“I’d prefer not”.

Alastair snorted “You’d prefer not”.

“Yeah, can I sit?”

“What if I say no?”

“Then I’ll stand” Alastair hadn’t turned to look at Thomas yet and the boy was really worried about him. What if he was crying? What was he going to do, or say?

Alastair turned, only to lay, facing up at the bed’s canopy, one arm to cover his face “ Sit ”.

“What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk”.

“Okay” Thomas moved to sit next to Alastair, having really no idea of what to say or what to do.

“Why are you here?”

“Christopher”.

“Next time ignore him”.

“I never ignore him. If he is worried, you have to be worried. That’s something I learned a long time ago”.

“He was worried for me?”

“Apparently he was right to be”.

“We are not friends”.

“But we are”.

Alastair moved his arm to look at Thomas for a few seconds “That’s why you are here? Because we are friends?”

“Yeah, of course”.

“Of course” Alastair replied with bitterness, not even him really knowing why “well, you have checked on me, now you can go saving your other friend”.

“James is covered. Why are you pushing me away?” Thomas was a little hurt, and wasn’t really good at hiding it.

“Because I don’t want to be your friend” Thomas looked at Alastair in shock, how could he say something like that after all? He knew he cared, so why? “Oh, don’t look so shocked. You know what I mean”.

Thomas really had no idea. Or maybe... but no. He was nothing like Charles, Matthew or James, beautiful, charming and irresistible. Alastair was himself beautiful and exotic. Thomas was... not. “I really don’t”.

Alastair looked at him once again, looking for mockery, feigned modesty but all he found was an open, beautiful, totally unaware look “How can you possibly be real” whispered the shadowhunter, sitting up.

“What do you...” but Thomas never finished his question. Alastair had taken his chin to get him closer and kiss him, with the rapidity and the grace of a shadowhunter. The tenderness mixed with hunger was all Alastair’s, instead.

He stopped only to ask “Is  this okay?”

Waiting for a reply was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. But Thomas didn’t answer. He kissed him back, simply pressing their lips together. Alastair pushed him to lay on the bed before lying next to him, trying to deepen the kiss. His hands were roaming over the boy’s body. When he found the naked skin over the belt, Thomas stopped him, sitting and covering himself “I... sorry I...”

Alastair sat as well, taking Thomas’ hand in his “Did I do something wrong?”

“I never... this is...” Thomas was literally freaking out.

“Yeah, I figured” Alastair kissed his hand “It’s okay, we can just kiss. If you want”.

Thomas looked at his hand like it was an alien limb, not possibly belonging to him. He nodded “Sorry”.

“Don’t be sorry” Alastair gently kissed him, sucking his bottom lip, still keeping the boy’s hand in his “this is perfect”.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Devious](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150544) by [Lilith888](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilith888/pseuds/Lilith888)




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